My epiphany: To be a girly girl and to be financially literate

 Dear readers,

About a couple of months ago, I had an epiphany of some sort and while exchanging voice messages with some friends on Whatsapp - as well as purchasing three rare gyaru magazines - it resurfaced in my mind. That’s when the thought of titling this Substack article came to my head: ‘To be a girly girl and to be financially literate.’ A lot of children of ethnic minorities or immigrant parents will definitely understand how it feels to have frugal parents or parents with the mindset of not spending any money at all and only spending money on necessities. So to my eldest daughters of ethnic minority/immigrant parents who always wanted the finest things in life (or just anyone in general) - this is for you.

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I believe that being an adult doesn’t mean that you have to not enjoy or embrace things that you once always dreamed of having as a child. It could even be emphasised that being an adult is the best time to finally acquire the things that you want. When discussing with my friends on Whatsapp, I told them about how I am going to be an adult that pays my bills on time and my taxes, make sure I have emergency funds and money in stocks, savings and ISAs but still an adult who would buy a 2000-2012 gyaru magazine, a vintage designer pair of platform heels, enlarging circle lenses, a luxury oversized bag or a vintage Victoria’s Secret PINK tracksuit.

A BRIEF SIDE NOTE/ANNOUNCEMENT:

SIDE NOTE: For context, I am in university (or college - if you’re an American) as a first year. I am definitely not in my mid 20’s or 30’s, and people who are in that later stage of life can definitely chime in and give their 2 cents in the comments if they so choose to. So, I will tailor this section of this article to how I balance being financially literate and still being a girly girl in terms of my stage of life right now and it will definitely look a lot different in the next few years, especially once graduating and securing a job.

Without further ado, let’s dive into - HOW I BALANCE BEING FINANCIALLY LITERATE AND BEING A GIRLY GIRL:

Set a spending limit → I make sure for certain items I want, I divide those into categories and then set a price limit from there. For example, dividing clothes into: brands, tops, shorts, dresses, jeans. For magazines, what would be the most I would be willing to spend it on? An example for shorts could be that maybe the limit should be like £10 depending on the brands, how many times you could wear this depending on styling and other factors.

ISA’s, ISA’s and more ISA’s → Select an amount of money and put it into an ISA, that way your money will accumulate interest over time and it also stops you from constantly spending the money you have sitting in one pot in your bank account. If you are a university student, you can put your money in a type of ISA in which you can still withdraw that money at any point in time in case of emergencies and make sure the banking app in which you have the ISA in, is interest or tax free.

Recognise if it is something you really want and if it will have a purpose beyond just its initial use →For example, when I told my friends and younger sister about the price of my rare edition gyaru magazines, they said it was honestly a little pricey (…but really cute). To be fair, a lot of people feel iffy about the prices of loads of things but especially magazines - since most people just flick through the pages once and then it just sits near your vanity accumulating dust. I honestly thought about it myself after I felt a gut wrenching feeling wash over me seeing the transaction finally hitting my bank account once I confirmed my payment - which is dramatic, I know, but still! Nonetheless, I realised that I can always figure out what to do with the magazine afterwards. I can resell it online; I can keep it and cut up some pieces for scrapbooks or keep it in the future and build a huge personal archive for books and magazines (which, psst… I’m already starting).

Look if there are alternative sites that you can find it for a slightly reduced price. Like if it’s pricey on Depop, check EBAY, if it is still pricey - check on Vinted. My Kink is Couture has a super good post on how to find things you want while not going completely off the rails.

Make offers → Take a risk, some sellers may reject your offer but you will never know if you don’t negotiate. This is also a super good thing to take advantage of if you’re a college/university student who can’t afford to constantly blow extra cash on things they want. I purchased the JELLY 2010 gyaru magazine from an ex gyaru seller (and Youtuber) who I grew up watching when I was a little younger and super obsessed with gyaru (which I totally still am) and the price was a little higher but I managed to get it reduced by almost £6.

Which leads me to my next point…

Be grateful → If a seller is reducing their original price to something fairly decent, show your gratitude. Even a couple of bucks or pounds make a difference, even if you think it doesn’t, and being grateful also comes with the realisation that you can’t realistically get your dream wants all the time for just £5. I mean, the Chanel Cambon bag wouldn’t be sold for £2, right? Most reasonable sellers price their items based on knowing the worth of those items, especially if they are rare or limited edition.

Focus on longlasting satisfaction rather than chasing trends → Buy things that will make you happy and have an intended purpose to last quite long, don’t chase trends unless you truly believe your desire for this item is proportionately higher than your desire to chase a trend. Trends rise and die quickly and this is happening especially fast in the modern day and age. In fact, Pinterest Predicts Report stated that trends are growing 4.4x faster than they were just seven years ago. Furthermore, Istituto Marangoni Miami Research (credits to Strike Magazines) found that modern social media actually creates micro trends that emerge and peak all in the span of a 2 to 8 week period.

Make sure your BILLS, BILLS, BILLS (peep the Destiny’s child reference, ok?) are always paid → Of course, if you are my age you may not have any bills to pay. Or maybe you do, if your parents make you pay some bills in the house to help out. In this context, however, I am talking about student credit cards or overdrafts. Please only go into your overdraft if you need an emergency cash withdrawal. In terms of student credit cards, make sure every purchase you make can be paid back, especially since this will be really good if you want to build a good credit score for when you actually get your own personal credit card.

Have multiple sources of income/revenue → I am going to keep it toned down to my own experience in my life so far but I personally want to have multiple sources of income, like having a part time job and maybe also doing another part time job and balancing the both of them to the best of my abilities, while also still having time for myself, friends, family and to be able to still study and workout. If you are also in college or university, you can get help from career advisors or look for student jobs or jobs that can fit around your schedule.

Think about whether better offers will come → On many reseller websites/apps you can follow the seller, I personally like to do this if I like nearly or practically all of the stuff they put in their listings to sell. If you are debating buying something, then perhaps it is better to wait and see if the seller lists something that might be even better and for a more reasonable price. If that doesn’t happen, and it’s secretly bugging you, then buy it before someone else can snag it. After all, it’s a super good feeling to buy something you know has been sitting in other people’s baskets and the chance of someone easily buying it quickly before you.

Buy things for your future house now → This is kind of for my uni/college girlies out there right now. My friends and I were just having a #girltalk about the future and I actually briefly mentioned to them (in which they agreed with) about how I want to actually start buying smaller things or items for my future house. The prices of houses itself are another story, especially if you’re living in a big city, but in this context - I am focusing more on the interior. One of my friends suggested buying a box and then just buying items and filling up the box, she also mentioned about how prices will definitely skyrocket by the time we graduate and get jobs - which honestly urges me more to buy things that I like now.

Separate needs from wants → I currently have a spreadsheet which helps me sort out my needs versus wants. My needs are: transportation, stationary for uni and more. My wants are: enlarging circle lenses, clothes from specific brands and more. Separating the two makes it easier for you to navigate what is necessary to spend and then use a little amount of the rest of the money as a sweet treat for yourself (while still being responsible).

Read the reviews and watch social media posts about an item you want → This might sound fairly obvious to do but we are all human and there can be some moments where we instantly rush to click ‘buy’ because it may be an item we have wanted for a long time. Even so, it is important to read the reviews and make sure you are aware of any potential problems other buyers of the product may have ran into. If you are buying circle lenses (like I love doing), make sure you watch posts on social media platforms like Tiktok. I tend to watch unbiased, non paid/non promoted videos of lenses to ensure I am buying pairs that are safe for my eyes, doesn’t cause my eyes to dry out quickly, is comfortable, suits my skin tone and is the size I want. Videos on these platforms can be a guide to help you with some of these factors but I always remember that what may look decent or ok on someone else may not come off as decent on myself due to factors like eye shape, base curve, skin tone, color contrast and other factors - you can still never truly know until you buy things yourself. I also feel like we need to bring back reading reviews for products on Blogspots - or maybe that’s just me.

Don’t pay for courses → This may be a little controversial but I feel like at the end of the day, the person who understands your financial situation the most will always be yourself. A lot of people often make the mistake of letting others tell them how to manage every single dime of the money in their account, which often leads them to run into more problems. If a course is selling you how to be rich, there is a high chance that person or organisation of people are trying to make themselves rich off your money. If you do deep dives on the internet, I am certain you must be able to find what you want. A good website that holds lots of information, FREE courses and more is called: FMHY.NET (click me!).

Buy staple clothing items → This piece of advice may come in handy for people going into university or college this year or even for people who are way older. If you are someone who can’t afford to buy a new outfit every day or simply can’t be bothered to think of a new outfit idea every day, buy at least 3-5 staple clothes or pieces for each season. An example is maybe dividing each of these staple clothes or categorising them by seasons. For example, in autumn, you have 2 tracksuit sets you can rotate with different shoes or different tops you wear or layer underneath your tracksuit. For the summer, you could have a pair of shorts you can pair with 3 different camisole tops. Or buying platform heels that could be used for an office day or sprinting to the grocery store before it closes!

Assess if it is something you want now and whether in person or online will be more beneficial → I could give an honest real life example that I have experienced. So, I was internally debating whether I should physically go the local beauty stores near my home and buy loads of lashes. Instead of rushing to go and put on some makeup and clothes and head out of my house, I opened Amazon and found a pack of lashes in the style I wanted and I realised it would be more cost effective in the long run. This is because the typical pair of lashes in a physical chain store would be around almost £3 and if I wanted to buy - let’s say around up to 3 or 4 pairs - this would easily cost around £9-£12 and it wouldn’t be nearly as enough as the pack I ordered online which was around £7 for 7 pair of lashes, also paired with free delivery. So essentially what I’m saying is check the physical stores and online stores and see which is more cost effective depending on what you’re buying and how soon you need the item, etc.

Hear a second opinion → Whether that’s friends or family, sometimes it is important to hear a more unbiased opinion. In fact, bonus points if that person doesn’t share the same aesthetic as you since they will genuinely share their view from an unbiased angle. For example, you see a rare limited edition 2000s fashion item but it is completely peeling and not much life left in them. In your eyes, you may want to get it just because it’s limited edition but someone from an unbiased point of view can tell you the honest truth. Also, on the contrary, having friends who share your aesthetic does help. I can also use a real life example, recently I was debating buying a 2010 rare Victoria’s Secret PINK fur hoodie with pom poms because of the price. I had managed to negotiate with the seller to reduce the price by a couple of £ but it was still a bit pricey because of the Vinted fee, as well as the shipping. After asking for at least two friends’ opinions, I decided to go ahead and purchase it!

THE ART OF REWARDING YOURSELF & THE EPITOME OF BEING A GIRLY GIRL:

Working more hours or picking up extra shifts? → Spend a day pampering yourself, like going to the spa and getting a massage.

Been budgeting extra hard for weeks upon weeks? → Set a reasonable limit and buy yourself something you have been wanting for a while.

Saving loads of money by constantly having a home cooked meal instead of delivery? → Go to a restaurant and treat yourself to a nice meal.

Doing your own hair at home to save money and time? → Go to a professional hairstylist and get a nice hairstyle you know you can maintain for weeks.

These are some of the basics but this finally leads me to the end of this article. My final message is keep enjoying all the things you want in life, wanting to buy all the cute things you like doesn’t make you vain or selfish - in fact, I argue that it is therapuetic to your younger self who may have felt like they weren’t deserving of all these good things!

Thank you for all reading and kisses to you all,

Prina